Meagi's Ranting

More on this subject when I'm not in the middle of it.

Shaylee got sick with a cold/stomach thing and was all better in a few days and only was puking one of those days. However, now everyone else is sick. No, not everyone is sick, but it's true that no one really slept at all. Mom was helping kids all night and is sick now. Micheala and sarah are moaning on the couches downstairs. Ben is still sleeping but was up a lot last night. Dad had to get up early to take the dogs in for their check up. He was also going to take Brittany to work so I wouldn't have to, but I was up anyway. Ivan woke up at 4 something and got mad at brittany because she told him to go back to sleep. I got up and helped him and then he did sleep. Till about 6:30 anyway. Then there was no hope of him going back to sleep. I tried to keep in the room as much as I could in my exhaushted state. Brittany was still pretty testy with him. Either I'm very patient or Brittany doesn't handle lack of sleep well.

Movie: To Live
This movie follows a married couple in China from the 1940's into the 70s. It was really sad, I can't tell you why if you want to watch it,but trust me when I say it's really really really sad. It's also banned from China. The reasoning being that it was too true to life. It pointed out the obvious flip-flop of the political agenda and parties and that it wasn't all bad before Communisum. Over all it's a very good historical piece.

I didn't used to be this bad at school, really I wasn't. I used to get A's, right?

My Bio-Psychology class is not going so well. I didn't do well on two of the quizzes, because I didn't read the material at all before hand. I didn't better on the other two, but I barely got them done on time, and almost didn't do one of them on time just because I got the "grades posted date" and the "final day to take it" date confused. Well, I should have learned from my near mistake, because I did that today for the 5th quiz. I missed it. I thought it was available till today, but it was the grades that were up today. And I can see if I'm doing okay on the essays because apparently their is an issue with me submitting them as .rtfs. I have NEVER had a problem with that EVER!

I'm so flustered and upset with myself. I can't think at all anymore. Their has to be something wrong with me. How could I think better when Ivan still woke up all night, and have no concentration now when I'm getting a lot more sleep? It's just wrong. I should just admit that I'm dumb and work on my house wife skills. Settle for being the obedient house wife for the guy I settled for. The boring one with the stable job.

I'm so disappointed in myself. I can't seem to do anything right anymore.

Star Trek
Went to see Star Trek last night. I was going to meet an online friend there, but couldn't find her. I should have checked my email before I went, because she gave me a heads up. I took Joshua with me. He got to hang out with my friends afterward as well. He said he had fun and I think he did. The movie itself was awesome! Everyone should go and see it.

School
Almost done with school. Turned in my last project today. Actually, I'm technically still in class. I don't want to be here right now. I want to ditch. I start summer classes in June. I will take four classes, because I can abuse Brittany for homework time. In the fall I will take only two classes. The grant writing class (because it is a skill I really need to be competitive) and a British literature class.

Fashion
If you want to buy me something that I will love you for, but it from http://www.modcloth.com because it has awesome mod style clothes. I have discovered a love for skirts and dresses. I like the mod look (though I can't do all the dresses and skirts because of how short they are) but I do still like the goth look. So I thought of combining the two into gothmod. It would include Mod shapes and styles, but with dark Victorian patterns with lace and leather details. Now if only I could sew.

I was being a stupid kid.
On Friday I had to leave early so I could talk to a counselor about classes. I showed mom my schedule for the fall semester and she started going on about the number of hours I would be gone and how I would have to get the kids through their school work and I got all upset about never being able to leave and was crying and felt horrible. I was talking to Fred about it later that night and he basically I was an ungrateful bitch.(He was nicer about it) Which hurt at the time, but it was true. So I had a reality check and discovered that I'm lucky and that the few annoyances I have to put up with are better than being a welfare slut.

There should be a class for Trekky Tech.
I finished my final portfolio for my tech tools class. Banged it out all in one day. It's not very good, but it's done so I'll get some points at least. I have accepted my C in that class. At least I won't have to take it again. I will probably get an A in other class which is cool. It's also cool that my teacher for that class said we should go for lunch on the last day. Should remember to get phone numbers from people in that class. They would be fun to hang out with again. I also need to see how many people are seeing Star Trek that day. Josh and I are seeing it Thursday. My friend allison wants me to dress up, but I don't think she'll find a costume for me in time. Oh well.

Speaking of Star Trek, I watched "The Cage" last night. It was one of the original pilot for the show. Back when it was still Captain Pike, and the second in command was a woman.


It's growing on my face!
I have this thing on my lip. I wasn't sure if it was a cold sore or a zit, and I'm still not sure but I'm leaning more towards a cold sore. Today, it is humongous! It's so ugly and pussy and eeeewwww. I can't touch it either, because it's technically a virus and I don't want to make it worse. I'm putting medication on it, but it's not getting any better. I hope it goes away soon.

I use it and then I abandon it for long periods of time. It must cry when I'm gone. I'm so mean to it.

I had my first real design job, but they put me on hold. At least they are paying me for what I've done so far. I like writing still and I'm sort of working on that. Don't get a lot of time though. Need to get money some how because I want to move out, so I can feel like I make ALL of the decisions for Ivan myself and not have to be changed by my mother and her rules.

When I move out and I am stable then I can date agian too. I really want to get into the dating scene again. I love flirting and going out and having fun and meeting new people. I'd also love to fill in the gaping stinging hole that is my lonliness. Though, I should be carful with that because that is what got me in trouble in the first place.

Ivan has apparently learned some sign language from the Baby Enstien DVDs we rented from the library. Now I have to buy them so I can watch them enough to learn it too. So that when he asks me for something using the sign, he won't be frustrated when I have no idea what he's asking me for.

Got up earlier today and did yoga. That was nice. I should do that more often. Also today, the book drive was up at school. I bought two old books and that was it. Go me!

Allison lost weight recently and wants to buy new clothes and then go out with me. I hope I can find a good time to do that with her soon. That will be fun.

I feel like firting with someone. I want to go dancing and flirt with new cute and cool guy. Please foreward one to me.

Whoever said that getting started is half the battle was right. I have a paper to write and I know what I want to say, but I have to flesh it out and orginize it, and then make it look pretty. Ounce I get started writing anything and I get my momentum I good and can work well for a while, and can put out a quality piece of work. It's just that before I get that momentum, or get in "the zone" I will try and do anything other than what I am suppose to be working on. In my defense, it is hard to get a good forward momentum going when you have to stop every few moments to catch a toddler, help someone, or answer a question. *sigh* I'll get there. I just have to start....

It is really hard to consentrate in my house. So much noise all the time. BUt on the up side, I am a little more focussed on my working than I was. Mostly because I know where I'm going now. I have a much better vision and work plan for my book. I have a concept for a short story to submit to a magazine. I know most what I want to put in my white paper and what I still need. I have an idea of where to look for freelance work to put on my resume. I know what to do after graduation. Mostly. I really want to be dating so I know if there is a guy I should figure into my post graduate plans, but I don't know if it'll happen. That's a wait and see thing. Though I don't want to wait. :p

http://www.hulu.com/voltron-defender-of-the-universe
This made me laugh. I used to watch this one all the time!

The pen tool on Adobe Illustrator was spawned by an evil mathematician from hell. This mathematician gets his willys off by watching art minded people get frustrated at their lines following logic based principles instead of doing what they want them to. Art minded people draw lines based on how actual lines are drawn on paper. Where as, the Satan spawn that made Illustrator decided to draw them based on elaborate equations.

I would very much appreciate a PaintBBS program or similar program to be available for use offline a to download to your PC(or Mac). That is a beautiful and very nice program. It doesn’t assume you can do geometry equations in your head in about a few seconds.

I am going to finish my workshop for school and then I am going to bury Illustrator. I am going to soak it in holy water, burry it in a spot between all four elements, encircle the grave with salt and mojo dust, and then consecrate the grounds.

I'm so bad about making regular ebtires. I always say I will do better, but I don't.

Anyway, so it's birthday time for me. I am going to a St. Patty's day party on Sunday. I have the cutest little green dress for it. I am doing the birthday haircut thing, but I'm do much length change. I'm getting bangs and dying my hair red. A deep red. Did it last night, but I will pick up another box to make it a richer color I think. I also want to get a hemitite ring for myself, because I really like them, but I haven't ever bought one yet.

Anyway, so I have 3 project proposals to write today. Babysitting, go to the bank, and gaming later with friends online. So I'll write you all again later.

Maybe.

Framemaker has decided to stop working even though it is the best program to use for the three documents I still need to make. AH! >< I should have just made a coffee shop business or something, but NO! I just had to do something funky and creative! AHHHH!!!!

Now 6 and I have two more things to make. I have no hope for my grade on this project.

I need to come back tomarrow or Wensday to finish. I should do a daft on paper before I get here, just so I have a better idea of what I'm doing.

I had lost my phone yesterday and spent today looking for it. I discovered in the kitchen trash bag that had already been placed outside. I apparently had left in on the counter and whoever was cleaning yesterday didn't pay attention and threw it away. I clean it with disenfectant wipes and and it works fine still.

I plan on getting my school books tomarrow. I am also trying to read 8 books in 8 weeks, for my library's adult reading program. If you finish, you are entered into their grand prize drawing. One of the prizes is a $250 gift card to our local mall. I really wantthat to blow on new clothes, because the clothes I have do not fit my style anymore.

Now on to what you really want!
( Chapter 2! )

Going against a lot of rules of writing here and sharing the first partof my book! I think that if I vow to post a chapter a week(I'll probably pick Thursdays, since that's today.)then I will at least be able to finish it, and give a few readers a good story. (if they like it). If I go to get it published, I can always delete the entries to avoid copyright issues.

( Chapter 1 or Prelude. I haven't decided which. Either way,it is the beginning of it all. )

I would love to make a New Year's resolution to write in my LiveJournal everyday, but I know it won't happen. It's hard to get any time on the computer when your toddler makes a new mess 30 seconds after you cleaned up the last one.

*gets up to clean up cearal mess*

*comes back*

As I was saying. I want to write everyday, which I will try to do, but I make no promises.

( Things to look forward to this year. )

( Things I'd like to get done everyday. )

Wouldn’t it just be my luck to discover that it is the official novel writing month in the middle of the month. Like I didn’t have enough trouble getting myself to as it is, now I’ve missed the majority of a good motivator. Maybe I really can write 50,000 words in two weeks. Or I could pluck all the keys off my keyboard and eat them.

Sometimes I think that a type writer would be very inspiring. Although, I’m sure that it would actually be mostly annoying. You would be in the middle of a very exciting scene, and then a paper jam! Plus, no sepll cheek.

Moving away from mental anguish now, I have switched to contacts. I love being able to see things again. There is a sale tomorrow, so I am buying the rest of my year supply then.
Ivan uses a year’s supply worth of mischief everyday. No wonder I can’t get anything done. Including my homework. I have one more out of class essay to finish, but I haven’t even started. I better do well on my finals.

Fun word of the day: lackluster
adjective
1. lacking brilliance or vitality; "a dull lackluster life"; "a lusterless performance"
2. lacking luster or shine; "staring with lackluster eyes"; "lusterless hair"

Most time loop story lines only loop for a day. What if it was like years or something? Hmmm, I should write that down...

Still no book for British Lit. My teacher sent me a link to the reading on Thursday, but it didn't work. I geuss I'll have to look up the text on my own. On another school note. John Smith is really hard to read. The guy who wrote about Pocahotas. Of, course I'm such a big dork I immediately thought "it's the Doctor!".

I cold has entered the house recently, and now my nose wants to kill me from the inside out. I am also back on iron suplements. (Watch your necks!) <- Wow, I'm such a dork.