Current mood:	lethargic
Entry tags:	birthday, brittany, carolyn, fred, french, german, gifts, graduation, headaches, ivan, japanese, mary, mom, pauline, shari, sleep, spanish, stress, victor, writing

Feeling Better


Journal
Right now I have a really boring, but stylish, design for my journal. I have been meaning to make another custom design, but I sadly have not had the time. I did change the title of my journal, because I gave the "creative bleeding" title to my new lj I made to house only creative writing. I don't have anything up yet, but I have it on my friend's page un the user name of: meagi_writing

School
After nearly dropping every class I had before most of them even started I have decided to keep them. At least the summer ones anyway. I will be taking a break in the fall. Which means I am again pushing back my graduation date. It is very frustrating to me to keep doing that, especially when Mary just graduated this spring and Brittany and Fred are both graduating this fall. I know I will finish and that I do have a small person to take care who will be easier soon, but I still hate this sluggish pace. I am still in that young person mind set of wanting everything now, and not thinking that I will ever get to where I'm going.

Parties
This up coming Saturday will be a party for Pauline's birthday and a party for Victor's birthday. Victor is my friend Shari's son who Ivan plays with. The weekend after that is Carolyn's party. And then of course Mary's wedding counts as a party too. So, yesterday Brittany went with mom to get Mary's gifts and then went with me to get other party stuffs. We got half of Pauline's gift, mom is buying victor's gift, we got carolyn's gift, and we acquired the other parts to our costumes for Carolyn's party. Now I have to finish coloring, and making a named tag. Brittany wants to get a little more for Pauline too. Our gift giving styles are very different, which is surprising considering how many gifts we buy together.

Sleep
I don't get enough of it. Isn't that what most people say? My phsyc book says very simply that if you you feel sleepy during the day, that you don't get enough sleep. I'd like to get less headaches and have more energy, because I get enough sleep. That's easy to say, but I am so busy that it rarely happens. In the morning Ivan wakes up and needs to be watched. I watch him most of the day while simultaneously trying to get work done. When he takes his nap I have things I need to catch up on or get done right away that I couldn't do while watching him. (Like showering) Then at night I am trying to get down time by working on writing drawing or watching a movie, but I get to it so late that I can only do so much. Then on top of all that it takes me a long time to fall asleep and then I am constantly waking up during the night. Often times I wake to find myself clenching my jaw or grinding my teeth.
*sigh*
It can all be explained in one word. Stress. Stress makes the world go round ad also brings it down. I am stressed about how slow I am finishing school, that I don't bring in any money, and with trying to make everyone happy while still feeling like I have been true to myself.

Languages
In my life time I want to become fluent, or at least mostly so, in four languages: Japanese, German, French, and Spanish. I love learning languages and watching films in those languages, but I only have so much time to devote to actual study right now. I am doing Spanish lessons with my mom and the other kids. I am looking up French phrases to use with Pauline and my grandmother. Fred mentioned wanting to start working on his Japanese again and I said I would converse with him i Japaneses so we can both practice.