Meagi's Ranting

Where My Mind Has Gone

2009-06-19T15:37:41Z

More on this subject when I'm not in the middle of it.

They're Sick!

2009-06-08T15:01:41Z

Shaylee got sick with a cold/stomach thing and was all better in a few days and only was puking one of those days. However, now everyone else is sick. No, not everyone is sick, but it's true that no one really slept at all. Mom was helping kids all night and is sick now. Micheala and sarah are moaning on the couches downstairs. Ben is still sleeping but was up a lot last night. Dad had to get up early to take the dogs in for their check up. He was also going to take Brittany to work so I wouldn't have to, but I was up anyway. Ivan woke up at 4 something and got mad at brittany because she told him to go back to sleep. I got up and helped him and then he did sleep. Till about 6:30 anyway. Then there was no hope of him going back to sleep. I tried to keep in the room as much as I could in my exhaushted state. Brittany was still pretty testy with him. Either I'm very patient or Brittany doesn't handle lack of sleep well.

Movie: To Live
This movie follows a married couple in China from the 1940's into the 70s. It was really sad, I can't tell you why if you want to watch it,but trust me when I say it's really really really sad. It's also banned from China. The reasoning being that it was too true to life. It pointed out the obvious flip-flop of the political agenda and parties and that it wasn't all bad before Communisum. Over all it's a very good historical piece.

Feeling Better

2009-06-07T17:04:50Z

Journal
Right now I have a really boring, but stylish, design for my journal. I have been meaning to make another custom design, but I sadly have not had the time. I did change the title of my journal, because I gave the "creative bleeding" title to my new lj I made to house only creative writing. I don't have anything up yet, but I have it on my friend's page un the user name of: meagi_writing

School
After nearly dropping every class I had before most of them even started I have decided to keep them. At least the summer ones anyway. I will be taking a break in the fall. Which means I am again pushing back my graduation date. It is very frustrating to me to keep doing that, especially when Mary just graduated this spring and Brittany and Fred are both graduating this fall. I know I will finish and that I do have a small person to take care who will be easier soon, but I still hate this sluggish pace. I am still in that young person mind set of wanting everything now, and not thinking that I will ever get to where I'm going.

Parties
This up coming Saturday will be a party for Pauline's birthday and a party for Victor's birthday. Victor is my friend Shari's son who Ivan plays with. The weekend after that is Carolyn's party. And then of course Mary's wedding counts as a party too. So, yesterday Brittany went with mom to get Mary's gifts and then went with me to get other party stuffs. We got half of Pauline's gift, mom is buying victor's gift, we got carolyn's gift, and we acquired the other parts to our costumes for Carolyn's party. Now I have to finish coloring, and making a named tag. Brittany wants to get a little more for Pauline too. Our gift giving styles are very different, which is surprising considering how many gifts we buy together.

Sleep
I don't get enough of it. Isn't that what most people say? My phsyc book says very simply that if you you feel sleepy during the day, that you don't get enough sleep. I'd like to get less headaches and have more energy, because I get enough sleep. That's easy to say, but I am so busy that it rarely happens. In the morning Ivan wakes up and needs to be watched. I watch him most of the day while simultaneously trying to get work done. When he takes his nap I have things I need to catch up on or get done right away that I couldn't do while watching him. (Like showering) Then at night I am trying to get down time by working on writing drawing or watching a movie, but I get to it so late that I can only do so much. Then on top of all that it takes me a long time to fall asleep and then I am constantly waking up during the night. Often times I wake to find myself clenching my jaw or grinding my teeth.
*sigh*
It can all be explained in one word. Stress. Stress makes the world go round ad also brings it down. I am stressed about how slow I am finishing school, that I don't bring in any money, and with trying to make everyone happy while still feeling like I have been true to myself.

Languages
In my life time I want to become fluent, or at least mostly so, in four languages: Japanese, German, French, and Spanish. I love learning languages and watching films in those languages, but I only have so much time to devote to actual study right now. I am doing Spanish lessons with my mom and the other kids. I am looking up French phrases to use with Pauline and my grandmother. Fred mentioned wanting to start working on his Japanese again and I said I would converse with him i Japaneses so we can both practice.

It Was Yesterday

2009-06-03T21:03:50Z

I didn't used to be this bad at school, really I wasn't. I used to get A's, right?

My Bio-Psychology class is not going so well. I didn't do well on two of the quizzes, because I didn't read the material at all before hand. I didn't better on the other two, but I barely got them done on time, and almost didn't do one of them on time just because I got the "grades posted date" and the "final day to take it" date confused. Well, I should have learned from my near mistake, because I did that today for the 5th quiz. I missed it. I thought it was available till today, but it was the grades that were up today. And I can see if I'm doing okay on the essays because apparently their is an issue with me submitting them as .rtfs. I have NEVER had a problem with that EVER!

I'm so flustered and upset with myself. I can't think at all anymore. Their has to be something wrong with me. How could I think better when Ivan still woke up all night, and have no concentration now when I'm getting a lot more sleep? It's just wrong. I should just admit that I'm dumb and work on my house wife skills. Settle for being the obedient house wife for the guy I settled for. The boring one with the stable job.

I'm so disappointed in myself. I can't seem to do anything right anymore.

Go See Star Trek

2009-05-08T19:55:29Z

Star Trek
Went to see Star Trek last night. I was going to meet an online friend there, but couldn't find her. I should have checked my email before I went, because she gave me a heads up. I took Joshua with me. He got to hang out with my friends afterward as well. He said he had fun and I think he did. The movie itself was awesome! Everyone should go and see it.

School
Almost done with school. Turned in my last project today. Actually, I'm technically still in class. I don't want to be here right now. I want to ditch. I start summer classes in June. I will take four classes, because I can abuse Brittany for homework time. In the fall I will take only two classes. The grant writing class (because it is a skill I really need to be competitive) and a British literature class.

Fashion
If you want to buy me something that I will love you for, but it from http://www.modcloth.com because it has awesome mod style clothes. I have discovered a love for skirts and dresses. I like the mod look (though I can't do all the dresses and skirts because of how short they are) but I do still like the goth look. So I thought of combining the two into gothmod. It would include Mod shapes and styles, but with dark Victorian patterns with lace and leather details. Now if only I could sew.

migumi44 @ 2009-05-03T10:32:00

2009-05-03T16:51:00Z

I was being a stupid kid.
On Friday I had to leave early so I could talk to a counselor about classes. I showed mom my schedule for the fall semester and she started going on about the number of hours I would be gone and how I would have to get the kids through their school work and I got all upset about never being able to leave and was crying and felt horrible. I was talking to Fred about it later that night and he basically I was an ungrateful bitch.(He was nicer about it) Which hurt at the time, but it was true. So I had a reality check and discovered that I'm lucky and that the few annoyances I have to put up with are better than being a welfare slut.

There should be a class for Trekky Tech.
I finished my final portfolio for my tech tools class. Banged it out all in one day. It's not very good, but it's done so I'll get some points at least. I have accepted my C in that class. At least I won't have to take it again. I will probably get an A in other class which is cool. It's also cool that my teacher for that class said we should go for lunch on the last day. Should remember to get phone numbers from people in that class. They would be fun to hang out with again. I also need to see how many people are seeing Star Trek that day. Josh and I are seeing it Thursday. My friend allison wants me to dress up, but I don't think she'll find a costume for me in time. Oh well.

Speaking of Star Trek, I watched "The Cage" last night. It was one of the original pilot for the show. Back when it was still Captain Pike, and the second in command was a woman.

It's growing on my face!
I have this thing on my lip. I wasn't sure if it was a cold sore or a zit, and I'm still not sure but I'm leaning more towards a cold sore. Today, it is humongous! It's so ugly and pussy and eeeewwww. I can't touch it either, because it's technically a virus and I don't want to make it worse. I'm putting medication on it, but it's not getting any better. I hope it goes away soon.

I Abuse My LJ

2009-04-23T18:00:17Z

I use it and then I abandon it for long periods of time. It must cry when I'm gone. I'm so mean to it.

I had my first real design job, but they put me on hold. At least they are paying me for what I've done so far. I like writing still and I'm sort of working on that. Don't get a lot of time though. Need to get money some how because I want to move out, so I can feel like I make ALL of the decisions for Ivan myself and not have to be changed by my mother and her rules.

When I move out and I am stable then I can date agian too. I really want to get into the dating scene again. I love flirting and going out and having fun and meeting new people. I'd also love to fill in the gaping stinging hole that is my lonliness. Though, I should be carful with that because that is what got me in trouble in the first place.

Ivan has apparently learned some sign language from the Baby Enstien DVDs we rented from the library. Now I have to buy them so I can watch them enough to learn it too. So that when he asks me for something using the sign, he won't be frustrated when I have no idea what he's asking me for.

Got up earlier today and did yoga. That was nice. I should do that more often. Also today, the book drive was up at school. I bought two old books and that was it. Go me!

Allison lost weight recently and wants to buy new clothes and then go out with me. I hope I can find a good time to do that with her soon. That will be fun.

I feel like firting with someone. I want to go dancing and flirt with new cute and cool guy. Please foreward one to me.

Not Concentrating

2009-04-01T22:22:30Z

Whoever said that getting started is half the battle was right. I have a paper to write and I know what I want to say, but I have to flesh it out and orginize it, and then make it look pretty. Ounce I get started writing anything and I get my momentum I good and can work well for a while, and can put out a quality piece of work. It's just that before I get that momentum, or get in "the zone" I will try and do anything other than what I am suppose to be working on. In my defense, it is hard to get a good forward momentum going when you have to stop every few moments to catch a toddler, help someone, or answer a question. *sigh* I'll get there. I just have to start....

Finally Working

2009-03-30T18:48:04Z

It is really hard to consentrate in my house. So much noise all the time. BUt on the up side, I am a little more focussed on my working than I was. Mostly because I know where I'm going now. I have a much better vision and work plan for my book. I have a concept for a short story to submit to a magazine. I know most what I want to put in my white paper and what I still need. I have an idea of where to look for freelance work to put on my resume. I know what to do after graduation. Mostly. I really want to be dating so I know if there is a guy I should figure into my post graduate plans, but I don't know if it'll happen. That's a wait and see thing. Though I don't want to wait. :p

Voltron!

2009-03-19T04:16:30Z

http://www.hulu.com/voltron-defender-of-the-universe
This made me laugh. I used to watch this one all the time!

Computer Program From Hell

2009-03-13T21:12:44Z

The pen tool on Adobe Illustrator was spawned by an evil mathematician from hell. This mathematician gets his willys off by watching art minded people get frustrated at their lines following logic based principles instead of doing what they want them to. Art minded people draw lines based on how actual lines are drawn on paper. Where as, the Satan spawn that made Illustrator decided to draw them based on elaborate equations.

I would very much appreciate a PaintBBS program or similar program to be available for use offline a to download to your PC(or Mac). That is a beautiful and very nice program. It doesn’t assume you can do geometry equations in your head in about a few seconds.

I am going to finish my workshop for school and then I am going to bury Illustrator. I am going to soak it in holy water, burry it in a spot between all four elements, encircle the grave with salt and mojo dust, and then consecrate the grounds.

Holy Wow! An Entry!

2009-03-11T16:32:59Z

I'm so bad about making regular ebtires. I always say I will do better, but I don't.

Anyway, so it's birthday time for me. I am going to a St. Patty's day party on Sunday. I have the cutest little green dress for it. I am doing the birthday haircut thing, but I'm do much length change. I'm getting bangs and dying my hair red. A deep red. Did it last night, but I will pick up another box to make it a richer color I think. I also want to get a hemitite ring for myself, because I really like them, but I haven't ever bought one yet.

Anyway, so I have 3 project proposals to write today. Babysitting, go to the bank, and gaming later with friends online. So I'll write you all again later.

Maybe.

migumi44 @ 2009-02-16T17:32:00

2009-02-17T01:37:02Z

Framemaker has decided to stop working even though it is the best program to use for the three documents I still need to make. AH! >< I should have just made a coffee shop business or something, but NO! I just had to do something funky and creative! AHHHH!!!!

Now 6 and I have two more things to make. I have no hope for my grade on this project.

I need to come back tomarrow or Wensday to finish. I should do a daft on paper before I get here, just so I have a better idea of what I'm doing.

My Thoughts Exactly

2009-01-27T00:21:09Z

Epic Fail

2009-01-20T02:09:38Z

My problems come from being lonely and stupid. I have been lonely for as long as I can remeber. I have friends that I can talk to, but none have ever filled the void. I was so lonely that I let myself get blinded and then fell in love with the idea of being in love and projected this image onto someone who I never stood up too really and he got me knocked up. Now I'm alone and always will be. No one will want to date a single mom who can't give him any time, because she needs to be with her family all the time. There is a young catholics ball next month, but I wonder why I should even bother going. It will be lame. Mostly couples. No guy will talk to me, and if they do it will only be polite, because there will be so many other pretty girls there that they should even bother with a girl with so many issues.

That being my second point. I can never stick up for myself. Most often to my Mom. I'll never get to raise my child like I want to. I think it would be a great thing if I could put him in that child development center at school, but I would never hear the end of it from my mother, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't live with her and debend on her for all of my bills and babysitting. She makes comments lately like "Remember to watch Ivan closely while we're gone." They mean that she doesn't think I'm a good mom and that if she ever let me live on my own with him, he might die because of my stupidity. I didn't want to be a mom yet. I kept Ivan because I was still in love with a shadow. What do I do now, when I can't even be the mom I want to be, because I have another mom who wants me to be something else?

Ivan is hard to deal with. He whines and complains whenver we go anywhere, so I can't bring him with me to see friends(the little I have), and he broke my keyboard AGAIN tonight. He put a gaint white spot on Mom's piano. I can't have a moment by myself when he's awake without hearing someone have to scold him for something.

I wanted to write a book. To have acomplished something that people would recognize me for. I'm too lazy to ever commit myself to it, like everything else.

Phone In The Trash!?

2009-01-15T22:49:00Z

I had lost my phone yesterday and spent today looking for it. I discovered in the kitchen trash bag that had already been placed outside. I apparently had left in on the counter and whoever was cleaning yesterday didn't pay attention and threw it away. I clean it with disenfectant wipes and and it works fine still.

I plan on getting my school books tomarrow. I am also trying to read 8 books in 8 weeks, for my library's adult reading program. If you finish, you are entered into their grand prize drawing. One of the prizes is a $250 gift card to our local mall. I really wantthat to blow on new clothes, because the clothes I have do not fit my style anymore.

Now on to what you really want!

Some people have an out of body experience or see a light at the end of a tunnel, when they are injured near death. Morgan didn’t. She remembered the typical crash sound and then smelling the department store perfume that her grandmother always wore. Morgan hated that perfume, but for the sake of staying in the rich woman’s will, she never said anything about it. At the moment Morgan couldn’t say anything about anything, because she had a tube down her throat. It was the breathing tube that was suppose to help her keep breathing, but it was currently doing the opposite. Morgan started choking violently.

“Oh God, Henry call the nurse!” her mom shouted, getting up from her chair and her knitting. The soft spoken man reading in the corner of the room got up obediently and went to the “call nurse button”, then went back to his book about butterfly migrations. Morgan’s wrinkly grandmother threw herself up from the rocking chair that was next to the bed. She placed a ring clad handover her chest and started to make noises as if she was going to faint.

“For goodness sakes Tabitha, Morgan is the one who needs help, not you!” Morgan’s mother shouted. She then held her hands over her convulsing daughter, as if she knew what to do, but had suddenly forgotten.

“Well, she could be dying for all we know! I am in genuine trauma!” Grandma Tabitha retorted. She fanned herself with the hospital cafeteria menu and threw her nose up into the hair with self proclaimed dignity.

Morgan thrusted her chest into the air and coughed uncontrollably. She was aware of the fact that only the nurse could adequately remove her tormentor, so she clutched the sides of her bed in an effort not to rip it out on her own. That was when she discovered that she could only clutch with her right hand. Her left was half covered by a cast that extended almost the full length of her arm. She pressed her eyes closed and tried to force herself not to breath. Tears rolled down her face. She had so many questions. About who had hit her and what happened to her, and what was to come of her poor little car.

A young blonde nurse came in and appropriately removed the tube from her throat. After that she assisted her with adjusting the bed and obtaining a glass of water. Morgan took the iced water lovingly. It was the start of a large appreciation for water on Morgan’s part.

“The doctor who treated you will be by tomorrow morning to talk with you, in the mean time if you need pain killers or anything else you can hit the call button on the wall. My Name is Julie. I will be on duty till midnight.” As she spoke the blonde nurse in the blue scrubs adjusted the various machines that were attached to Morgan and tweaked the bandage on her head. The girl seemed to have an athletic build, or at least seemed that way with her sporty pony tale. Morgan also thought that she spoke with an air of polite empathy.

“Tomorrow!” said grandma Tabitha indignantly, “can’t you tell us what’s wrong with her? You’re the one treating her!”

“I‘ve only been caring for her since she was moved to this newer building. All of the details would be better to discuss with her doctor. He had to go home for some time after finishing with her head injury, so he isn’t due back until the morning. Since she is stable he didn’t think it was necessary to rush. If you’ll excuse me.” The nurse left to talk to another patient’s injuries and not to their family.

“I bet he’s fucking his mistress,” Grandma Tabitha said.

“Tabitha!”

“Mother!” Morgan’s parents scolded in unison. An image of the jar of coins at home flashed into Morgan’s mind. It was a jar you had to pay to if you swore or bad mouthed someone. Grandma Tabitha owed the jar 50 cents. Before Grandma Tabitha retaliated with “You know it’s true,” or “The world is not as innocent as you’d like it to be“ A high school boy and a middle school girl entered the small, yet private recovery room.

“You’re awake!” exclaimed the mop headed youth, Morgan’s brother Tom. He wore his white and red letter jacket, like he did on most days. Today he was also holding Morgan’s favorite dark soda. The thin girl behind him, their youngest sister Sara, held a thick vampire novel in her hand. She held one of her wrists and looked at the floor.

“Sara, I think there’s better light for reading in the waiting room. Why don’t you and Dad read there?” Morgan offered in her weak voice. Sara looked up but just as quickly looked back down.

“That’s a good idea,” said their father. He rose from the window seat and left the room. Morgan was glad that her Dad also understood that Sara was nervous having to be in the hospital, and especially awkward having to see her big sister hurt. Though she was a fan of gothic romance, Sara was a person of weak constitution.

“Here is your pick me up,” Tom handed her the icy aluminum can.

“Don’t give her things like that!” Morgan’s mother took the can back. “She is suppose to be healing not rotting from the inside with sugar and carbonation.” Morgan looked mournfully at the soda that was now out of her reach. She was too tired to argue with her mother, but her grandmother wasn’t.

“There is no proof that the stuff kids have been drinking for years is harmful to your health,” Grandma Tabitha said, shaking a jewel clad finger at her daughter-in-law. Seeing the argument coming, Tom took a seat in the back of the room where in became engrossed with text messaging. It accrued to Morgan that she did not know where her cell phone was. The misplaced piece of technology made her feel naked in its absence. “Mom, where is my phone?” Morgan asked a little louder voice.

Her mother and grandmother were now in a heated discussion about proper healthy habits, and did not hear Morgan‘s request. Their current argument mirrored the same one they had every time they were near a baby together. The rest of the Hurst family quickly learned to tune out such discussions. Morgan rolled her bandaged head around to look at the other side of the room. She hadn’t really been told what happened. Everyone around her was so absorbed in their own worlds that they didn’t bother letting her in to explain her own to her. She closed her eyes and fell into thought to try and get an educated guess about what happen. It was a large truck out of the corner of her eye that she saw. No one seemed to look at her with too much pity or sadness, so the other driver was probably okay, or at least not in serious condition. The nonchalant attitudes toward her accident seemed to mean that her own injuries were not worth spending too much thought on. She shifted from abstract thoughts to the sensations in her body. Her legs could move but they felt weak. Her torso felt sore which probably meant she had bruising. She felt the bandage on her head and assumed there were stitches underneath. She wished to every possible deity that she wouldn’t have any ugly permanent scars.

Morgan opened her eyes to look at her plastered arm in it’s hospital hammock. Past the cast was a mirror that showed the argument and her brother behind her, her arm in front of her, but she herself was different. It was still her same face and hair and body, but it didn’t feel like her. The reflection she felt was not the same feeling she had had all her life. She didn’t just feel different, she was physically different. The shade in her eyes was no longer the brown she had nor were they the ocean blue she wanted. She saw a deep purple around her pupil. The purple was so deep and haunting that it drew her to it with abnormal ability. Her heart beat became a hammer beating against her ribs. A dull ringing in her ears shielded her from any other sounds around her. Her breath was speeding up and still the unholy color change reflected back at her.

“Honey,” Morgan’s mother said, pulling her out of her moment of fearful shock.

“Mirror,” Morgan replied softly, “I want to see a mirror. A small one that I can hold.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea right now, why don’t you wait till you’ve healed more. You’re kind of…”

“You don’t look so good right now and seeing yourself ugly doesn’t exactly help the healing process,” Grandma Tabitha chimed in.

“What happened to my eyes?” Morgan said with calm back in her voice. The matrons of the family exchanged looks, having just realized that there was a mirror on the wall that Morgan could apparently see herself in.

“For what it’s worth I think they look really cool,” Tom chimed in from teenage electronics land.

“When did you see them? I’ve been in a coma!”

“The nurse showed us,” her mother explained in the please-calm-down voice. “Not this one, the one who’s shift was before hers. He was explaining your injuries to us and said how the doctor was unexpectedly called away before he could talk to us, but he assured us that the doctor would give us a better idea about why your eyes changed color. He said that it most likely had something to do with the head injury.”

They all sat silently, well, Tom was tapping at his phone, but no one talked. Morgan moved a hand up towards her eye. “I want a mirror, please,” she requested. “A hand held one. I want to get used to it.”

She didn’t say much the rest of the evening. Morgan’s family offered her things and talked to each other. Then visiting hours ended and Morgan was alone with the plastic handheld mirror. It’s teal edges framed her banged skull, disheveled hair, and strange new eyes. They really were purple, but not like if someone painted them on, like they were natural. The dark color of plumes or amethyst. She blinked and looked away so that the weird intoxication of her own eyes didn’t consume her.

The room was dark and the hall outside was quiet. The clock read 12:14. Morgan became aware of her own thirst. Thirst was a curious thing that way. Though you may need a drink you are not always thirsty, and then thirst can jump up on you and become the only thing that you can think about. She rubbed her throat and looked around. There was a large hospital cup laying on a wheeled tray by the wall. The nurse call button glowed in the dark on a wall mounted panel beside her bed. The soda that her brother got her sat on the window sill. She looked at it with longing.

“I really want to drink that, but I’m so tired. Maybe I should just get up and get the water, or I could call a nurse,” Morgan told herself in a half asleep tone. Her eyes closed and opened lazily. She held her hand up as if she could touch the painted aluminum, could feel the cylinder shape of the can in her hand. Her eyes drifted closed again, and then she could feel it. She opened her eyes and saw in the dim light that saw was holding a can of soda in her out stretched hand and that the soda on the window sill was gone. She gasp and dropped the can. It feel from the height of the bed to the aluminum floor. The pressure burst from small slits in the can and sprayed a sticky foamy mess all over the surrounding furniture and floor.

Sharing Time

2009-01-08T16:01:39Z

Going against a lot of rules of writing here and sharing the first partof my book! I think that if I vow to post a chapter a week(I'll probably pick Thursdays, since that's today.)then I will at least be able to finish it, and give a few readers a good story. (if they like it). If I go to get it published, I can always delete the entries to avoid copyright issues.

This story starts with a crash. Morgan Hurst was in her car at 3:34 in the afternoon on a Friday when a drunk driver, who was later found to be fleeing the scene of the murder of his wife, hit her car. His truck was designed to haul more than he could carry in it in more than two of his life times. It was also inadvertently designed to be able to pulverize Morgan’s little Nissan. The metal broke and the glass went squish. A safety marshmallow blew out from the steering wheel and cushioned Morgan’s doomed body as best it could. Luckily for Morgan, her car loved her as much as she had loved it. The powder blue steel baby crumbled in such a way as to cradle Morgan, but to loose all hope of ever seeing the road again. By standers report that when the jaws of life were used to get to the young woman, her car made a distinct death rattle.

A quick, loud, and rather bumpy ambulance ride later, Morgan was wheeled into the emergency room of the closest community hospital. This hospital just so happened to be in the middle of moving into a larger facility across town. The nurses jumped up from their jinn rummy game when the medics’ call came through. They were ready with a room and a doctor. Morgan’s arm lay carefully between two bright blue boards. Her arm was ripped open like lobster dinner, revealing what her elbow bone really looked like. Though it is very hard to see bones past the blood of cut flesh and veins. The EMT holding her breathing bag rushed out the information about a couple possibly broken ribs, the obvious multiple breaks in her arm, and a piece of windshield that was lodged into the left side of her forehead.

The veteran ER doctor, Dr. Cornelius Casey, was not shaken by the bloody pulp that now lay in his ER. To be frank, he often fantasized about being the main character on an exciting medical show. The kind where he would get to sleep with all of the hot nurses and solve exotic health problems. He thought about just such an episode as he treated Morgan’s arm. He pretended that she was actually a rogue princess from a middle eastern country and it was only he who could save her from dying from the attempted assassination. His fantasy filled, freshly divorced mind switch from Morgan’s arm to her head injury. He asked a nurse to call the neurosurgeon and to request a prep for an MRI. As he expected, as of course the main character of an exciting medical drama would, that there was bleeding near her brain. It was forming a mass that would kill her if they didn’t act now. All the neurosurgeons they had happened to be at the new hospital and would not get there to save her life in time. He did the only thing that a brash intriguing, and handsome, doctor would do. He set up to do it himself.

Residents and nurses stood by for the gush of blood that was to follow the removal of the glass. He had gaze wrapped around the shard. He placed one hand against her head and the other on the glass. The supporting cast shifted nervously, waiting for their moment to move in.

“One,” he whispered quietly, “two, three.” He pulled the glass out with one swift movement. Before the glass was on the tray next to him, the other scrubbed figures swooped in. Dr. Casey turned to pick up the sewing equipment when he heard the silence. Right before the silence there was a gasp from the pregnant nurse and a weak “Oh My God” from the almost retired nurse. He turned back around to scold them for forgetting themselves, but then he saw it too. Pressed up against the college girl’s brain was twisted metal that seemed to be pulsating. Dr. Casey looked closer at the anomaly. It appeared to be a computer chip interwoven with a black veiny material that wedged itself into Morgan’s brain tissue. If his scientific mind didn't know better, he would have sworn it was giving off a territorial vibe.

“Scalpel,” he said to no one in particular. He swallowed his nerves right before pressing into the pulsating puss. The world around him was gone. The only things that existed now were the brain, the scalpel, and the demonic black ink that encased the mechanized mass. He had no idea how long it took him too carve away what wasn’t grey matter from what was. Finally, the world returned to him as he tied up the last stitch. Wiping his brow, he walked away.

“What should I do with this?” asked the beautiful pregnant nurse who was holding the tray with the anomaly sitting on it.

“Put it into a bag or something to give to the patient. Maybe she’ll know what it is.” He removed his gloves and threw them into the waste. He looked down the long wide hall. It swayed and twisted before him. The motion reached into his gut and made it sway as well. He threw a had out to steady himself as the pressing headache came on. There, kneeling by the biological waste basket, Dr. Casey threw up for the first time since he was ten and had to dissect a frog.

Yay Lists and LJ Cuts!

2009-01-04T17:38:02Z

I would love to make a New Year's resolution to write in my LiveJournal everyday, but I know it won't happen. It's hard to get any time on the computer when your toddler makes a new mess 30 seconds after you cleaned up the last one.

*gets up to clean up cearal mess*

*comes back*

As I was saying. I want to write everyday, which I will try to do, but I make no promises.

1)There is a catholic young adults ball in Febuary right after valentine's day. A catholic young adult is between the ages of 18 to 35 so there will be a lot of couples. That willbe the depressing part. On theupside, I will probably have some friends there and there will be single guys. And the best part isthat they provide babysittingso Ican stay the whole time! Woot! So I'll get to dress up (hopeing to find a new tome dress in time for it) and hang out with people all night, maybe find a guy to connect with. Should be at least some fun.

2)What is better than a horror flim with your favorite actor in it? If it's in 3D! Enter in "The Valentine's Day Massacure 3D". If you haven't figured it out yet, I enjoy horror flims. Not all of them(I can't stand to watch Saw) but a lot of them. I'm exciting about this one, because you can make the audience jump when a pick axe gets throw through the screen and then the resulting victum splatter also come through the screen. Also, Jensen Ackles is in it. ^^ For those of you who don't know, Jensen Ackles plays Dean in "Supernateral" and I love him! If there is a single catholic guy out there who looks like Jensen, you totally need to message me.
Now here's the kicker, will I get tosee this flim in the Imax 3D theater that is rightbehind my house? No! I won't see it untill someone rents it andI watch it with them. *sigh* Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and I'll get to go see it, but not likely.

3)School! I know that most people hate having to sit through lectures surrounded by thick classmates, but I love learned new things. Next semester I'm going to have fun classes too. So I say Yay for school!

1)Wash face and use acene stuff at the begining and end of the day.
2)Floride rinse twice a day.
3)Excercise. Either streching with sit ups, or walking, or I also have a belly dancing instruction booklet that I could do.
4)Write. Specifically in my book, but on lj too.
5)Read. I have a lot of books I want to read, so reading out of one of those everyday would be good.
6)Laundry.If I don't clean/sort/and put a way laundry everyday, it piles up quickly and just gets insane. So doing it al everyday will keep it down to less time in the laundry room when I do do it.

Lack of Motivation

2008-11-16T04:24:50Z

Wouldn’t it just be my luck to discover that it is the official novel writing month in the middle of the month. Like I didn’t have enough trouble getting myself to as it is, now I’ve missed the majority of a good motivator. Maybe I really can write 50,000 words in two weeks. Or I could pluck all the keys off my keyboard and eat them.

Sometimes I think that a type writer would be very inspiring. Although, I’m sure that it would actually be mostly annoying. You would be in the middle of a very exciting scene, and then a paper jam! Plus, no sepll cheek.

Moving away from mental anguish now, I have switched to contacts. I love being able to see things again. There is a sale tomorrow, so I am buying the rest of my year supply then.
Ivan uses a year’s supply worth of mischief everyday. No wonder I can’t get anything done. Including my homework. I have one more out of class essay to finish, but I haven’t even started. I better do well on my finals.

Fun word of the day: lackluster
adjective
1. lacking brilliance or vitality; "a dull lackluster life"; "a lusterless performance"
2. lacking luster or shine; "staring with lackluster eyes"; "lusterless hair"

You Cannot Fight The Dork

2008-09-03T23:57:16Z

Most time loop story lines only loop for a day. What if it was like years or something? Hmmm, I should write that down...

Still no book for British Lit. My teacher sent me a link to the reading on Thursday, but it didn't work. I geuss I'll have to look up the text on my own. On another school note. John Smith is really hard to read. The guy who wrote about Pocahotas. Of, course I'm such a big dork I immediately thought "it's the Doctor!".

I cold has entered the house recently, and now my nose wants to kill me from the inside out. I am also back on iron suplements. (Watch your necks!) <- Wow, I'm such a dork.

Since The Last Installment...

2008-08-31T23:31:58Z

Mom was putting all the baby stuff out today and told me that if Ivan wasn't going to use the toddler bed, she was going to give it to Shaylee. Ivan is now taking a nap in his toddler bed in my room.

I was researching third party canidates the eery night before McCain announced that Palin would be his VP. I watched her speech and could actually get excited. So, this year I may be filling in the bubble next to McCain, but I'm really voting for Palin.

I have been playing AQWorlds a lot lately. I found three quests that I and do simultaniously and repetitivly, so that's a good way to level. And ounce I reach that level cap (almost there!) they are also a very good way to make money and get flithy rich and then I can walk around with super cool items.

Appartently, if you skip too many meals, you actually do start to fill sick. Right now I look like I should be starting to eat brains any minute now. So, I've been sipig on slim fast all day, and I'll be attempting to not miss anymore meals. I just don't get hungry anymore though. O.o

There is final a new face to the movie night crowd. He was a new friend of Daniel's and now at least from my point of view)is worshiping Fred. I think Fred has a new best friend.

Weeeee Internet!

2008-08-27T02:27:47Z

School started today. I thought that since I was higher on the waitlist for Advanced Grammar that I would take that class instead of British Lit. But the BritLit teacher said that she would enroll everyone on the waitlist into the class, since there was plenty of room. I',glad I get to take BritLit instead, becasue Gramar was going to be a lot of work, I have friends in BritLit, and we will be going over some of my favorite authors and works.

I realised toight just how much daily internet stuff I do. Here's a list:
Live Joural
Gaia
OneManga
MySpace
Grandpa Work
Hotmail
yahoo
Fancast

Yeah, and I also do random research, surveys, and games too. I am sooooo addicted to the internet.

I'm Okay twitch Really

2008-08-25T19:13:24Z

School starts tomorrow and still no government check to buy my books. Oh, well. I'm going to buy my books on Wensday weither or not I have that check. I need to buy gas and underwear too... that sounded so wrong. >>

I want to ge the house clean today, that way (if I do chores everyday) it will be easier to keep things cleaned and organized during the school semester. I get a little OCD when I don't have at least one room that isn't under my control. So after a bit of freakying out last night Brittany helped me clean up our room and I finished it today. I really hope I can get the ret of the house clean today too.

Hello Again

2008-08-25T05:48:13Z

It never sises to amaze me, how inconsistent I can be.

Current News:
Brittany leaves for Japan tomorrow
I have rearranged my room
Ivan HATES sleep
School starts Tuesday
New icons and journal theme
I'm sooooo tired
Still writing, but also still idea hoping

Currently Watching:
Supernatural
Project Runway
The Middle Man
Eureka
Masterpiece Theater

I Knew It was Too Good To BeTrue

2008-08-25T05:40:55Z

I am trying one nap in the middle of the day for Ivan. 1)Because he didn't seem tried at the time of his usual first nap, and 2)I was being lazy and didn't want to get off the computer. Well, I put him in his crib, closed the door and ten minutes later no screaming. Usually it takes at least 40 minutes for him to stop yelling. So, I went in to check on him and discovered that I had left my netflix where he could get it. He had taken the disk out of both envelopes without ripping anything and was laying down looking at the shiny side. Needless to say, I took it from him, and now I sit in the kitchen and Ivan is starting to actually settle down.

I need to go hunt down Shawn. He was suppose to work on his math where I could see him while Mom is gone, but he hasn't come out of his room yet. He is probably reading his book. Looks like I'll have to get up and drag his butt out here. It drives me nuts how disrespectful he is. Though I guess there are a lot of other 15-year-olds who are worse than he is.